


Obnoxious

by meandminniemcg



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Don't copy to another site, M/M, or the aural equivalent of it, so much of it, their friends are so done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 00:39:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18767620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meandminniemcg/pseuds/meandminniemcg
Summary: Their friends agree silently: Harry and Draco's kink for semi-public sex goes too far. It's just a matter of time until someone confronts them.





	Obnoxious

**Author's Note:**

  * For [donnarafiki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/donnarafiki/gifts).



> for and based on a prompt by @donnarafiki.  
> Donna, I hope you don't mind that I wrote it only from other people's point of view.  
> Thanks to @icarusinflight for the awesome and fast beta reading.

George was happy with the attention the presentation of their Bliss product line and grand opening of their adult product shop got. He had feared that the discontinuation of the Wonder Witch line would mean a drop in sales, until Hermione, Pansy and Draco had dedicated some of their spare time to developing safe, consent-activated products and testing them with their significant others. Every safe product from the Wonder Witch line was still to be sold, but everything that could be used in a setting of dubious consent or non-consent was no longer available.

The Bliss line had three sub-lines. “Solo,” toys and products that were best for the use without a partner or in absence of them, “Wear,” lingerie that could adapt color and shape to look flattering on the wearer and finally, “Together”, products to use with a partner or partners.

The shop was brimming with people; George recognized late night show hosts Simon Macmillan and Leticia Andrews. Their show featured the Midnight question, in which they answered questions on sexuality owled in by anonymous readers.

Ron, who had greeted the guests at the door so far, walked over to him and said, “I think you can start your speech.”

A As he looked around, he saw Draco taking Harry by the hand and pulling him into the room that was labeled Staff only.

“Dear guests, my brother, my wife and I are happy to see you all here. As you all know, sex education didn’t exist in wizarding Britain until some years ago, and society treated sexuality as merely a means to beget children, and as if it was a necessary evil. Products related to sexuality that were in the market had the purpose to impair mental clarity for the sake of producing heirs in loveless matches. Or, even worse, suppressing a person’s natural desire for another, all because they were not the one the head of the family had chosen for you. Thank Merlin, we are on our way to leaving those ways behind as a society.”

People applauded.

“My co-workers and I have developed new and different products with the purpose of making safe, sane and consensual sexuality more enjoyable. We have products ranging from Vanilla to Kinky, toys and lingerie for every expression of every gender-identity, and from getting off alone to having fun with others. Every product here is equipped with a consent indication charm; …”

“Here… Ahhh, yesssss!” That was Draco’s voice. What the… “Oh, Mmmh! Merlin! Fuck! Ahhh!” A loud crescendo of expletives in Draco’s unmistakable posh tenor voice followed.

“Seems like someone got a little too eager looking at our products.” People laughed.

After that, the evening went well, and people bought products and subscribed to the catalog, as he had hoped they would. Despite the evening’s success, George was slightly annoyed at Harry and Draco for shagging so noisily in his staff room.

*

The British team had won the Quidditch world championship with Ginny scoring the decisive goal in the final, giving them the necessary points to defeat Bulgaria — if only by a scant five points. Luna threw a party at Lovegood House for her successful girlfriend. She had only told Harry, Draco and Neville the real reason for the party; she was planning to propose. People were dancing, eating the finger food from all around the world that Luna had brought from her magizoological journeys and having fun, when Luna turned off the music and clinked a spoon against a sonorused champagne glass.

“You all know we are here to celebrate our Ginny who gave us the world cup, but I have another reason I have invited you all.” She got down on one knee before Ginny, holding up a ring. “Ginny Weasley, will you mar-“

“Merlin fuck! Don’t stop! More! Yeah! Harder! Ooooohhhhh!” That seemed to come from the garden. Luna took a deep breath. She couldn’t change it. Harry was obviously fucking Draco somewhere out there.

“Ginny, will you marry me?” She said, making her voice as loud as she could, trying to drown out the competing noises.

“Yes, I will. And we will be as happy as Harry and Draco, but not as obnoxious. I think both of them should get a bat bogey hex.”

“Don’t hex them, Gin, they just keep the Nengwas away. We’ll have a happy marriage.”

*

“More cursed objects were found in Bath, Glasgow, Swansea and Brighton. Auror/Cursebreaker teams have to be ready around the clock. We have to have two teams ready at all times. Yes, Cursebreaker Malfoy?”

Malfoy had been shifting in his seat for a while now. He spoke with a tense voice. “Could we have a break, Minister Shacklebolt?”

“Okay, fifteen minutes coffee break. Don’t leave the department unless summoned to an emergency.”

Most Aurors and cursebreakers filed into the tea kitchen at the end of the hall, but Kingsley and Gawain went to Gawain’s office. Gawain had brought the new Muggle novel that he had been recommended recently, and Kingsley wanted to borrow it. “Have you heard the rumor that Veronica Johnson and that bloke who wrote ‘Concrete daffodil’ are actually the same person. I wonder why-“

“Nnngh! Please, more! Please! YEEEESSSS! Merlin! Harder!” Malfoy’s voice rang from Auror Potter’s office next door. “Kingsley, you want me to sack them or separate them?” Gawain asked, his face scrunched up in grimace.

“Unfortunately, they are the best Auror/Cursebreaker team we’ve ever had. I’ll look for an opportunity to have a talk with them about their indiscreet behavior.” Kingsley knew very well that he would not muster the courage to tell them that their office sex had been audible. He would just cast discreet silencing charms on the office walls.

*

“Can I try my birthday present outdoors, please?” Teddy stood in front of the sofa where Harry was sitting between Draco and Ron. They were celebrating at the Burrow, and Teddy was holding his new Firebolt Junior in his hands.

“Ron, could you please go outside and accompany Teddy while he flies a round? Draco is not feeling well.” Harry squeezed Draco’s hand.

“No problem. Come on, Teddy. Want to try your Learners’ snitch, too?” Teddy grinned, picked up the box with the snitch and skipped to the door, followed by Ron.

“Draco, do you need…”

“Yes, please.” Both men got up and headed for the stairs to the first floor.

“Oh no. You won’t.” Hermione got up with a stern look and followed them, grabbing Harry’s wrist.

“I’m not stealing anything; we’re just going to the bathroom.” Draco drawled.

“How dare you? This is Teddy’s birthday.” Hermione whisper-yelled.

“And? Does the loo go on vacation?” The two men stepped inside the room. Hermione pushed her foot between the door and the hinge before Harry could close it.

“Okay, if you insist, then watch us.” Draco’s voice sounded resignated. He took off his shirt, while Harry transfigured a Kleenex into a stool.

“I don’t want to watch you guys shagging.” Hermione cringed at how shrill her own voice sounded. But this was too much.

“Hermione, I promise you, we are not going to shag here. Can you get out and let us do what we’re doing here?” Harry tried to make eye contact to implore her, but Hermione avoided it.

“But that’s what you guys do at every event. At the grand opening, when Luna proposed to Ginny, and we heard the rumor that you even shag during coffee breaks at the ministry. So many people have heard you. I don’t want to kink-shame you for liking semi-public or public sex, but this is going too far.”

“Again, we are not shagging in public. Draco has muscle cramps — a result of having been hit with the Cruciatus repeatedly during the war. I massage his back where he can’t reach, or rub the salve into his legs when his hands are hurting, too.”

“Harry, please, can you stop talking and apply the salve? My back is killing me.”


End file.
